Healing and Hope for Men After Abortion

[Jason]

Your loss is real... You can heal... You are not alone...

"There is one thing that seems to link together all men who face the long-term effects of abortion: a horrific sense of loss.” Guy Condon & David Hazard, authors of "Fatherhood Aborted"

"Many men acknowledge various problems in their life without connecting them to a previous abortion decision.” Brad Mattes of Life Issues Institute

“My behavior took a nose dive... I put myself in numerous life threatening situations... My life was empty…”

“I was devastated. I grieved. Alone. I blamed myself. I’d been careless and irresponsible.”

“I still get depressed and angry when I think about it.”

“I find myself crying sometimes when I am alone. Without trying to understand why I am crying, I begin to think of the baby.”

   These are real emotions expressed by real men who suffer from a profound sense of loss… the loss of their children to abortion.    According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, the word abortion is defined as “the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus”. It is the recognition of that loss of life, whether subconsciously or consciously, which causes men to suffer from the symptoms of post-abortion trauma.
   As a post-abortion man, you may find yourself experiencing one or more common symptoms and behaviors such as anger, guilt, depression, anxiety, confusion, promiscuity, impotence, insomnia isolation, distrust, and substance abuse.
   Perhaps the abortion just happened yesterday, or maybe it was 30 years ago. The mother of your unborn child could have been a one-night-stand or she could be your wife. You may have insisted that she get the abortion and even paid for it or maybe she did it behind your back and didn’t tell you she was pregnant until afterward. Regardless of how long ago it happened, what your relationship with the mother is, or what your involvement in the decision was, your pain is still very real. But you don’t have to let it control your life. There is hope!

“[These men] need to be reassured... that there is hope for their healing.” C.T. Coyle, Ph.D. author of “Men and Abortion: A Path to Healing”

   The first step toward healing is to consider how abortion may be contributing to your problems. Until you face this fact, you’ll never overcome the anger, the resentment, the guilt, the sorrow and the addictions.
   The process of healing is a long and difficult journey. It takes a lot of work. The good news is that you don’t have to take this journey alone. There are people and organizations who have recognized your needs and are willing to help you along the way. There are people in this forum who can guide you in the right direction.
   There have been many before you who have walked the same path. From the poorest to the wealthiest, these men have crawled out from the darkness of their lives and found hope and healing. No matter how bad things may seem right now, it can get better. But first you must be willing to make the commitment to heal. It doesn’t happen by itself.

"Every man who has lost a child has a story. We should be ready to listen to his story.” Warren Williams of Fathers & Brothers Ministries, author of "Missing Arrows" Bible study

   As you begin your healing, it is important to remember that you are not alone. The best way to discover this is to listen to others who have been through the problems you are currently experiencing.
   Every man does have a story, and you may find that you have many things in common with these men. These stories are powerful truths… better than any statistic… as they come straight from the heart. They are testimonies of suffering and declarations of healing. This forum is a great place to start.
   As more men start sharing their stories, many others may be inspired to come forward, seek healing, and turn around to share their own stories. One day you may be able to share your own story of failures and triumphs to inspire those that follow in your footsteps.
   Until then, remember that your loss is real, you can heal, and you are not alone. Stand tall and proud… you are a father forever!